Surf, Eat, Sleep — and READ!May 28, 2014
Know Thy LineupJune 11, 2014
- You will want to quit your job. Yes–the work is soul destroying, the boss is an idiot and your colleagues morons…but who wants to pursue things like happiness and quality of life?
- You won’t be able to update your social media while surfing. Your Twitter feed will go unTweeted, your Instagram following will be starved, and you won’t be able to add friends on Facebook. Instead, you’ll have to connect with real people! Emails will go unanswered and you’ll be spending way too much time away from the television.
- You’ll return with a toned body, a healthy glow, and a new sense of confidence. Your work colleagues and friends will resent you.
- Surfing will take you to the most beautiful destinations in the world. You’ll see sunsets with a million colors, sunrises that cast beams and illuminate the water, virgin landscapes, and stunning wildlife. Far better to stick to what you know in a traffic-congested, smog-filled city.
- Surf camp is an indulgence. Three delicious meals cooked for you everyday, massage, rejuvenation and relaxation. Wouldn’t you prefer to be doing the laundry and scrubbing the kitchen floor?
- Surfing is really difficult to master. It takes lots of commitment and dedication. That time could be more productively spent, like, watching the shopping channel for example.
- You’ll make lots of new friends. Your life is way to busy to add this new complication. You’ll have to remember pesky things like their birthdays and cards at Christmas. Heaven forbid, they might even force you to have fun and go on other surf adventures with them.
- Surfing will teach you about patience…and letting go, being positive, self-belief, and being in the present. These qualities are clearly irrelevant to the modern world.
- Beer tastes really good after surfing. And that could be bad.
- Because you only live once and, therefore, it’s best to stay within your comfort zone.